Fear no evil

Do you ever feel evil will overtake you by surprise? Do you think that one day the bottom will fall out & all will be lost in your clean, almost perfect little world? Will sin overpower you or your loved ones, disgrace, or incurable wounds result? I am ashamed to admit this was on my mind in the past. Four years ago I was looking for a definition of apostasy because I wondered had I wandered into it. I had lost zeal for Christ, I was caught up in dissipation, my first love was no longer first, but a faint cry in my heart not to disappear.
I had little faith in the salvation I've been abundantly given. I forgot my Savior saved me from a multitude of sins & holds me in His right Hand & that no one could pluck me out. I did not remember that the 'life of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn.' I let a little seed of doubt plant & take root in my mind that the Lord really didn't love me, of all the people & religions in the world, that maybe I'd been deceived in my 'Saul on the Damascus road salvation experience' & actually the Lord sent a lying spirit to make me believe I'd become one of his like so many others who are so deceived that they are really His. The foundation of His salvation in my life couldn't be on an experience, but upon a relationship, one that grew dim because of doubt.
A dear sister said this was sin & I greatly wondered what she meant. We expounded on it in Bible Study. I confessed my sin to God & the warmth of His love flowed back into my cold, fruitless winter of a barren life. 'I remembered the days of old, the years at the right Hand of the Most High' & how my relationship with God was so much like the life of a dear passed on saint, Amy Carmichael. This was the life of hope & how could I have ever doubted the reality of Love that once burned bright & clear in my life. God had saved me, I hear the voice of my Shepherd. Even though I'd been a stupid, wandering, lost sheep, the Shepherd left the 99 to come find me tangled in the briers of the cares of this life I greatly feared were going to choke me out.
I had lost faith, but He was faithful, because He cannot disown Himself. I had not lost love, & only a faint glimmer of hope was left on my smoldering wick, but He lit the fire again. "He who began a good work in you, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Immanuel came to save us from our sins & He does. "He is able to keep his chosen ones from stumbling."
Selah..